YELLOW SNOW ALERT LIKELY TO SEE MOTORISTS DRIVING LIKE COCKS – POLICE WARN

Bullshire’s Meteor Office has issued a ‘Yellow Warning’ which, apparently, means that snow might fall from the skies above Bullshire at some point when it’s a bit chilly.

That’s right.

In a shocking revelation, Bullshire’s weather professors have forecast that, when it’s a bit chilly, snow might fall from the skies.

For Bullshire’s motorists, this will see them driving like complete and utter cocks.

Unless the Bullshire Motorist owns a Mercedes or a BMW; in which case they’re fucked.

A spokesperson for Bullshire Police said,

“…Most people drive like complete and utter cocks when there’s a tiny bit of snow on the ground.

We particularly like laughing at BMW and/or Mercedes drivers who, when it’s not snowing, drive around like they’re the cock of the kingdom.  However, when their rear wheel drive car won’t even move in the snow, we piss ourselves.  Unless, obviously, they’ve got a 4 wheel drive version; in which case we just laugh at them because they’re cocks anyway…”

"Contingency Coconut"

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24/03/2020

'Bullshire' is, in fact, a 'Small Business' with all the costs and overheads that a 'Small Business' involves. The current worldwide situation is causing our 'Small Business' to stumble.

Our Social Media Ambassador is currently in Vietnam and, thanks to strong free WiFi everywhere, is able to continue to create. However, they can't get back to the UK. In fact, after careful consideration, they would prefer to be in Vietnam at this time because it's safer. Oh - There aren't any viable routes out of Vietnam either.

Unfortunately, this means additional expenditure and a massive amount of stress about keeping the 'Bullshire Small Business' afloat back in the UK.

If you choose to procure a 'Coconut' for our Social Media Ambassador, money will be used to keep the lights on in Bullshire.

These are scary times and there are priorities though. We understand that.

These are not easy times. Vietnam has closed its borders. Our Social Media Ambassador is a 'Foreigner' in their country. At the moment, they're smiling; but it's only a matter of time before they stop; as businesses are being closed left, right and centre.

Like we said: Scary times.

Stay safe. Watch yourself. Watch out for those closest to you.









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