In a shock move to “…kill two birds with one stone…” Bullshire Police have today unveiled a revolutionary piece of equipment which will be fitted to all Bullshire Police cars as soon as possible.
But what is it?
A crowd of shocked onlookers looked on in shock earlier today when Bullshire Police announced that they will be equipping Bullshire Police cars with additional equipment which will “…kill two birds with one stone…”
Bullshire Online can exclusively reveal that Bullshire Police are equipping all Bullshire Police cars with…
Wait for it…
MOPED VERMIN KNOCKER-OFFERS
Bullshire Police are equipping all Bullshire Police cars with ‘…MoPed Vermin-Knocker Offers…” according to their spokesperson; who said:
“…We’ve recently began nudging the robbing little fuckers off their stolen MoPeds. This has resulted in a few scratches to Bullshire’s Police Cars; and we can’t have that. From today, after looking at the weather forecast, we decided to buy some ‘Snow Ploughs’ which can also be used to shove the thieving little wankers off their stolen MoPeds; hopefully sending them flying into a fucking lamp-post. The little cunts…”
But, there’s another use the ‘Snow Plough’ can be put to, according to the Bullshire Police spokesperson:
“…Oh yeah. It’s also a snow plough; so we can clear the snow off the road as well as prodding the cretinous MoPed enabled wankers into the nearest tree…”