Top Cop Apologises After Assault Victim Lashes Out

A Temporary Detective Constable from Bullshire Police has been forced to apologise to an assault victim because there wasn’t a police car parked within a ‘Disabled Parking Bay’ on a privately owned supermarket car park when they were assaulted recently.

The assault victim had been led to believe by all the so-called “News” articles within shitty local news outlets that every ‘Disabled Parking’ and ‘Parent/Toddler/Child’ parking bay in every car park in every supermarket everywhere ever had a police car parked in it.

The assault victim – who was beaten to a pulp next to the ‘Disabled Parking Bay’ [pictured] – saw a Police Car drive into the car park when they were being stamped on.

However, because the Police Officer was so scared of getting into trouble with their wussy spineless bosses, they decided to find a more suitable parking space before going to the assistance of the victim.

In response to a Freedom of Information Act request e-mailed by our lazy journalists, Chief Constable Sir Mason Lodge said “Here at Bullshire Police we like to forget what our job is and pander to the public at all costs.”