In a bid to deter people from assaulting Emergency Workers, Bullshire Police are pushing for harsher punishment for Offenders.

As you may have seen in the real news, people who assault Emergency Workers often receive pathetic punishments; which really really pisses pretty much everybody off.

One of our intrepid so-called “Journalists” has approached Bullshire Police for their thoughts.

“STERALISE THE FUCKERS”

“…Anyone who assaults an Emergency Worker should face extreme punishment. If it was down to me, I’d crush the coward’s bollocks with two bricks, so they couldn’t breed and introduce any more feral vermin in the cesspit of their underclass favela. If it was a so-called female offender, I’d deploy the knitting needles to show the feral piece of shit who’s boss; and prevent her from squeezing out any more spawn…“

“FACEBOOK”

Why not choose to return to Facebook and comment on the post with something you think is witty. If it makes us chuckle, we might make you ‘Famous’ by quoting you in this article. Because we can.

“BUY SOME SHIT FROM OUR SHOP”

Now we’ve got your attention, why not choose to browse our ‘Stuff’ and consider the question of buying some shit from our shop. Every little helps in our quest to donate as many ‘Morale Bundles’ as possible; which, as you may not be aware, don’t grown on trees and cost us money.

"Contingency Coconut"

Name: "Contingency Coconut"
SKU: Coconut
Price: 2 GBP
Availability: InStock

Coconut

£2.00

In stock

Quantity:

Product Details

24/03/2020

'Bullshire' is, in fact, a 'Small Business' with all the costs and overheads that a 'Small Business' involves. The current worldwide situation is causing our 'Small Business' to stumble.

Our Social Media Ambassador is currently in Vietnam and, thanks to strong free WiFi everywhere, is able to continue to create. However, they can't get back to the UK. In fact, after careful consideration, they would prefer to be in Vietnam at this time because it's safer. Oh - There aren't any viable routes out of Vietnam either.

Unfortunately, this means additional expenditure and a massive amount of stress about keeping the 'Bullshire Small Business' afloat back in the UK.

If you choose to procure a 'Coconut' for our Social Media Ambassador, money will be used to keep the lights on in Bullshire.

These are scary times and there are priorities though. We understand that.

These are not easy times. Vietnam has closed its borders. Our Social Media Ambassador is a 'Foreigner' in their country. At the moment, they're smiling; but it's only a matter of time before they stop; as businesses are being closed left, right and centre.

Like we said: Scary times.

Stay safe. Watch yourself. Watch out for those closest to you.

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